*Author randomly puts in “pagan songs” about that one time Moon Goddess Freya was married to Thor and their tru wuv was totally epic and tragic and mentions “gatherings of insane pagan druids”*
*Finds interesting-looking, “both scholarly and entertaining” novel “on the Sigurd cycle” by an author who has studied English and German philology, complete with Hagen-centric prequel*
*Finds out author is involved with “only counts as racist if you’re running around shooting black guys and scheduling lynchings with an angry mob” heathen organization*
*Tries to find movies about the Nibelungenlied*
“So … I’m kinda confused, you said this was about the Nibelungenlied, right?”
“YES OF COURSE TOTALLY 100% LEGIT SCANDINAVIAN MYTH” *actually all Wagner*
“Well, there’s not much difference between the Scandinavian version and …”
“Kriemhild is an idiot and boring and your classic Disney Princess who never does anything at all, why is she even in it”
“… Maybe because she’s the main driving force behind all the scheming and bloodshed and chaos in the second part?”
“I didn’t read the second part”
“Kriemhild is a useless Disney Princess before Siegfried’s death”
“… In The Rosegarden in Worms, she just wants to see knights brutally murder each other to get a single kiss from her”
“Kriemhild is a Disney Princess”
“Seriously, HOW is that an insult?” *goes back to watching Brave or Mulan or whatever she feels like at the moment*
“And the brave noble hero killing the big scary dragon, and the badass warrior queen, and the horrible terrible dramatic betrayal, and …”
“Yeah, that’s pretty cool! I’ve always preferred the second part, though.”
“… What second part?”
“The second part’s boring.”
*Flips random tables*
*AGGRESIVELY FLIPS RANDOM TABLES*
*Volker/Gernot/Dankwart gets named precisely once (and never again)*
“OMG YES I’VE WAITED SO LONG FOR THIS” *cries*
*Hagen and Volker appear onscreen together for exactly one scene. Volker never talks and is never referred to by name. All their original interactions are cut*
“MY OTP THEY’RE SO PRECIOUS” *cries then swoons*
*All Nibelungen!fic is in German*
*Actually ponders learning German*
… Now TRY and say your Fandom is small and unknown and it gets you all frustrated and stuff.
Also, if I ever write my own Nibelungenlied novel, Brunhild and Kriemhild will be both awesome utterly badass ladies, Gernot and Dankwart will have more than one single speaking line, Rumold and the other basically-just-names knights will get a larger part in the story, and Hagen and Volker will have a bromance to make Rickyl and Johnlock pale in comparison (also they’ll basically ship themselves).
… Okay, no, fuck this, Hagen and Volker will just be Canon. I’ll be an evil queer-pandering fangirl-author making important character queer for my unholy queer agenda, and reviewers on Amazon will be SO uncomfortable.
Also, Brunhild will be the Butch Queen (… the Butch Lady-Jarl? I don’t know, the whole “queen of Iceland” thing always confused me) and have lots of UST with Kriemhild. And Gunther will love the bondage thing, he’ll just be too ashamed to admit it. And I’ll try to find a way to avert the whole icky marital rape thing, hopefully …
So, yeah, basically I’ll have no shame at all. Something tells me I won’t really care, though.